I'm going to write from the heart today. As usual, I might become incoherent and lose my train of thought, and I applaud anyone who makes it through all of this (whatever this may become.) Hypocrisy is something that both fascinates and annoys me. Obviously I don't like the fact that some people claim to be one thing and are evidently something completely different. My heart breaks when I see Christians who proclaim the love of God but are some of the rudest, mean-spirited people I've met. Hypocrisy is the arch-nemesis of integrity. It is acid rain on a forest of respect. At the same time, I am deeply intrigued by the thought processes that precede moments of hypocrisy.
At one point or another, we all have fallen victim to hypocrisy's clutches. It is highly improbable that any of us are perpetually upright individuals who never act in ways contrary to our previous statements, but I believe that often we don't even realize when we are being hypocrites. Let me restate that: I don't realize when I'm being a hypocrite. Being all-inclusive in that is judgemental and hypocritical in some fashion. Imagine this with me for a minute: a man has been hurt by some careless people's misguided, ill-thought words. His reputation has suffered the shrapnel of human conversation, and he has been deeply affected by what was said. Now these individuals who hurt him had all claimed and appeared to be outstanding people; the man would never have suspected them to slander his name. Nonetheless their actions appear contrary to their claims, and are thereby hypocritical. Here's where I begin to lose my cohesive grip on the subject. If he tells anyone what has happened, is he not too being a hypocrite? How can he be upset with those individuals for talking about him, and then go talk to someone else about the same people? It's like seeing some people smoking cigarettes in a non-smoking park and running then turning to a friend to bring it to their attention while you yourself are smoking. Now I don't have anything against smoking (Although it can probably kill you. But I used to smoke.... hypocritical, parenthetical statement. Wow.) but the principle can be extrapolated I think. It's hard to not be hypocritical.
I don't want to appear as if I have no hope in humanity or think that everyone is a huge hypocrite; far from it. I've just been hit really hard lately with the reality that often times the people that I am the most upset with probably have solid ground to be upset with me in return for the way I handle situations. If you're talking about the "lying psycho who went behind your back and cheated on you" to a friend, that lying psycho might be talking about the "crazy girl who never could keep her mouth shut and spreads stuff." It comes full circle. This topic has really been weighing heavily on my heart of late. I'll be the first to admit that I have been hurt by people. It is relatively easy to be in that group. Though none of us want to fall into this next group, most of us are included in its ranks just as easily. The "I've been hurt by people, but I've probably hurt people as well" group. This is rough stuff for me. It's not fun to realize that I am my enemies. I've been gossiped about. I have gossiped about. I've been lied about. I have lied about. My reputation has been cut down. I have cut down reputations. I don't want to lump us all into one group. I understand that everyone deals with this differently, and I really respect those of you who remain integrity-enriched through episodes of hypocrisy directed at you. I wish I was as strong as you are, but I realize I have lengthy ground to cover. I am not a good example of how to not be a hypocrite.
My heart is running out of words, so it looks like this is going to be another short post. Maybe these are better. Sometimes wading through shallow water is better that diving off of a cruise ship into the ocean. Everyone needs their fair share of bite-sized pieces of life. (My Oprah-esque moment has now concluded.) I hope that these words never feel judgmental or feel like I am trying to tell anyone what to do. I certainly don't have life figured out. There are countless areas that I struggle with. I just hope to spark thoughts and conversations. People figure things out together better than they do alone. That being said, I am going to go ride my motorcycle at breakneck speeds to burn some agression off. Have a wonderful day everyone. God bless you.
Oh I forgot that I have some exciting news. Sometime in mid to late February, I will be having an entire week of guest posts. It's going to be fun for everyone. I get to have some of my good friends and mentors sharing their thoughts and stories. Can't wait for it!
(I aways say this in parentheses at the bottom, and I don't know why. Anyways, thanks for checking this out today. You can leave comments or chat with me on Twitter at @MattHillEC.)